Steps of Grace…

As I was growing with God in college, He led me through a time of inner healing and release of guilt and shame from things of my past.  This might seem long, but I encourage you to read through it all.  These verses set me free.  I wrote short explanations under each about how they have impacted me.  God bless you!

Romans 3:23 – For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
I knew this Scripture for so long, but only when God began to do inner healing within me did the power of the Scripture become real to me.  ALL HAVE SINNED.  No one is worthy.  We have all been covered in dirt and crap… from the greatest pastor/leader on down.  Satan likes to make each of us think that we are scum and no one could have sinned like we did.  He tries to make us think other people are worthy, but we aren’t.  But all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.

Romans 5:8 – But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
WHILE WE WERE STILL SINNERS.  God is eternal, spanning from the beginning to the end.  He knew our future sins and failures before we were even born.  Despite knowing this… He STILL took the punishment for us, so great is His love for us!  Again, we are unworthy, we are saved by grace and grace alone (Ephesians 2:8).

Romans 8:1-2 – Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.
The price has been paid… before we even sinned, the price was paid.  And it always will be.

Psalm 103:11-12 – For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
Ever looked up at night at all the stars and felt small?  As far as all those stars are from us… His love for us is greater!  I encourage you, stand up as you are reading this.  Try and reach up to the heavens.  Try it!  And now stretch out one hand to the east (to the right) and the other hand to the west (to the left).  As you are stretched out, think about the symbol you have just made.  It is the symbol of His love.  By His love, our sins have been cast away.

Isaiah 43:25 – I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.
It is for His glory that we are made clean.  If we have repented and sought forgiveness, He forgets our sins and those parts of our past.  And so should we!  =)

Jeremiah 31:34b – For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.
Lets say it again, “He remembers our sins no more.”

John 8:36 – So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.
We can now claim this with confidence!!!  =)

But what if we still feel guilt and can’t shake it?

James 5:16 – Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed; the prayers of a righteous man are powerful and effective.
Us Christians are the light of the world (Matthew 5:16).  We shine like stars (Philippians 2:15b).  When sin and hurts are confessed before sons and daughters of God, it is consumed by the light (Psalm 139:11-12, Psalm 18:28).  Confession is one of the hardest things to do because we must humble ourselves and become completely vulnerable, but when it is done around true children of God, there is no judgment and only love and freedom!  The freedom afterwards is awesome!  The darkness has been consumed by the light.  =)

But what about the sins and temptations that keep creeping up on us?  

Psalm 119:9 – How can a young man (or woman) keep his way pure?  By living according to your Word.

Psalm 119:11 – I have hidden your Word in my heart that I might not sin against you.
To know God’s Word is to know His heart.  As we draw closer, we are able to know His promises truly are eternal.  He is always faithful.  And in knowing these things, our love will only grow stronger.  

1Corinthians 10:13 – No temptation has seized you except what is common to man.  And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.  But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.
This is important Scripture to memorize when battling a sin.  No matter how difficult the temptation may seem, God always provides a way out.  Quoting Scripture, praying, and seeking fellowship are ways of freedom.

Psalm 34:8 – Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.
As we taste His great love, all the desires of this world fade away.  Nothing compares to Him! 

Psalm 63:3 – Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.
Praise is proclaiming God is Sovereign and reigns in our lives.  There is a reason in Philippians 4:6-7 God tells us to lift up our burdens not just in prayer and petition, but with thanksgiving.  As we praise Him, we are able to remember just how great a God He is and we will again be filled with His life and His strength.

1John 4:4 – You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.
Claim victory!  The Spirit within us is greater!!!  Exercise your spiritual gifts, pray, praise, nourish yourself with the Word and with fellowship.  =)

God bless you!

Shalom room and kim-jang day, with an extra pic of Pastor Lee and his family

Most of the boys in Shalom room are 7th – 10th grade (the first two boys are 4th grade)… so a lot of these boys are in the “no smile” phase for pictures… a few of them took a ton of pleading to get them to let me take a picture of them… so this post took some extra work than others

Dong Chan

Chae Hyun and Ms. Kim dorm mother

Sung Kee

Young Jin (he wasn’t smiling, but i got one of the other boys to do something goofy beside me and caught him in a half-smile)

Yo Han

Dae Chul and Mi Jin dorm mother

Chae Young

Young Sun (that was the most I could get him to smile for the picture, but don’t worry, he does smile for real sometimes)

Choong Hyuk

Soo Min (he was too shy to take a regular picture by himself, so i stood with him)

Do Hyun (he really dislikes pictures, so after a lot of coaxing this was the best picture i could get… another picture of Do Hyun is below)

In Chul (in his high school uniform… all the kids have to wear uniform in middle school and high school)

Chae Ho

Yong Hee

Chae Ho, Do Hyun, and me at their middle school graduation last February

Yong Hee and Chae Hyun

Vampire Sung Kee

Choong Hyuk loves the camera…

He really loves the camera…

Soo Min was so shy when I first asked him to take a picture that he wanted only In Chul to take his picture in another room… but then the goof only had In Chul take pictures of him doing tae-kwon-do moves!  So I made him take a regular picture, but he only would if I was in it (and that pic was posted above)… these kids are goofballs

Kim Jang! (kimchi preparation day)… Usually kim-jang is a one day event, but because we were making kimchi for about 100 people to feed us for one year, this was a two day event for us with almost all the staff working along with a number of volunteers.  This was all pretty crazy stuff… I found it ironic that on Thanksgiving Day I wasn’t just eating kimchi, I was making it!  Enjoy the pics…

The beginning of the process… cutting up the cabbage, getting rid of the bad parts (my job here was carrying the crates of good cabbage to the washing area and carrying the scraps to our compost heap… this all took about 4 hours)

The cabbage salting and washing area… also volunteers are working on shaving the outsides of the radishes…

Kwon-sa-neem… our orphanage “grandmother.”  She has been doing these kim-jangs for a looong time

Duk-bok-gee break (I think I got that konglish right?)

Day two, some of the dorm mothers are slicing up the radishes into french fry type strands

Min Kyung and Mi Jin dorm mothers at one of the cabbage washing bowls… those bowls are all loaded with cabbage from top to bottom, and there was more then in this picture…

Mi Jung dorm mother

The dorm mothers and volunteers working on stuffing the salted, washed and dried cabbages with the radishes, onions, chili peppers, fish oil, and seemingly a billion other mini ingredients… yay for kimchi smell!

The final step… carrying the kimchi into the kimchi cave where it is put into kimchi containers and left to ferment… I overheard that we will begin eating this kimchi next summer and it will last us until the summer of 2008… I didn’t even know this cave existed until I had to go in it, it was always boarded up and I thought it was just a storage shed… oh, and this picture was taken halfway into the cave

Pastor Lee and his family (Samonim (Mrs. Lee his wife) on the left, his older son In Soo in the middle, his younger son Kyung Soo on the bottom right)… Pastor Lee is the pastor of the community church inside our orphanage where all our kids also attend

I hope you all enjoyed the pics and had a blessed Thanksgiving! 

Aaron Shust – My Savior My God

I was going to write some other stuff, but decided to just copy my journal entry for today.  Its really long, so I understand if you decide to not read it and look at another xanga site.  I figure maybe someone out there is curious what a full day for me is like.  I didn’t write every detail or every conversation (of course), but I did still write a lot.  Happy Thanksgiving and God bless!!!

Wednesday, November 22, 2006:  I got up a little late and had breakfast and got ready.  At 10am I went outside to join the staff in “Kim-jang.”  Kim-jang is “kimchi preparation day.”  And since we were making kimchi for 100 people to last a year, this would take two days and a ton of vegetables.  Since I was one of the few guys (Dong Min dorm father, Yong Soo, and Mrs. Lee’s husband) I mainly carried crates filled with either cut up vegetables or with the trash (bad parts of the vegetable).  I also helped clean a lot.  It was a lot of work.  About 14 of the female staff were busy chopping the vegetables.  It was pretty cold, so I wore a thick headband around my ears.  The staff found that amusing, along with the pink dish gloves (the only color they come in) I had to wear over smaller gloves (it was really cold).  We took an hour break at noon for lunch.  Since I’m still a little sick, I came to my room after lunch and had some hot chocolate and rested a little.  At 1pm I went back out and did a lot more carrying crates and loading trash into a cart and dumping the trash on a compost heap.  A bunch of volunteers came to help out, and we definitely needed the help.  Kyung Mi guided me a little in telling me what to do in English.  The guys mainly just grunted and pointed and I, most of the time, understood.  The kids started to come back from school in the afternoon.  A lot of them laughed when they saw me and some of the girls (Soo Jin, Young Eun) teased me calling me, “ajoomah” (older Korean lady) because of my gloves and since I was helping the dorm mothers and older ladies.  I chased them around a little.  We kept working and working.  We finally stopped for the day at 6pm.  It was getting really cold out and everyone was exhausted.  I ate dinner in the cafeteria with Do Hyun (high school boy).  I tried to explain Thanksgiving to him… about how it’s a big holiday in America where family gets together and we eat a big feast including a turkey.  I was struggling to explain, and then I remembered Do Hyun’s past.  He was found at the front steps of an orphanage for babies.  The staff there gave him his name (part of it comes from that orphanage’s name) and also made up his birthday.  He came to Geon when he was young and has always lived in the orphanage without any known relatives.  As I remembered that, I stopped trying to explain.  I don’t think Do Hyun was bothered at all by me talking about a family holiday, these kids don’t seem bothered by that stuff.  I stopped because reflecting on his past was a reality check for me.  Tomorrow for Thanksgiving Day I’ll be making kimchi at an orphanage.  And at night, like every other night here, I’ll be eating dinner with my family of 100 (kids and staff).  That amount of people is more than my whole extended family (and I have a huge extended family).  I have to say, I miss my family right now because of Thanksgiving.  I of course miss the food, but much more than the food is who I am eating with.  My family.  Crucial.  But I know God has given me another family, this orphanage.  Help me love them the same God!  And help me enjoy them the same too.  After dinner I showered, shaved, and then went to Wednesday night worship. I sat near the back and little Sun Jae (4 years old) talked to me a lot during the sermon.  He kept going on and on (whispering) in Korean.  I understood a little, but a lot of it just seemed like randomness.  I tried to get him to be quiet, but he just kept talking.  Cute kid.  After service I went to Shalom room and took pictures of the boys.  Neither Chae Ho nor Do Hyun wanted their picture taken.  I got Chae Ho to pose after a little pleading, but Do Hyun required a ton of pleading and he still wouldn’t face the camera.  I finally took somewhat of a side shot.  Both are insecure guys.  In Chul was upset about something so he didn’t want his picture taken, I’ll get it tomorrow.  Soo Min came late from tae-kwon-do class.  He was his usually smiling, fast-talking/hyper self, but he told me he wasn’t happy.  His tae-kwon-do instructor had been hard on him tonight.  He didn’t want his picture taken either because of that, but promised I could take it tomorrow.  He talked to me about some other stuff too.  I tried to help Yong Hee, Yo Han, and Choong Hyuk with their math.  I succeeded in teaching Yong Hee and Choong Hyuk some.  Yo Han’s stuff (some weird Algebra with all variables and no numbers) confused me.  Weird to think its been over 10 years since I studied that stuff.  Soo Min then brought out a mini ping pong set and set it up on a table and challenged me.  We both were sitting/reclining on the floor as we played.  He was pretty into it.  Soon other boys were gathering and wanted to play.  I played Soo Min, Choong Hyuk, Chae Ho, little Dong Chan, and played teams with Yo Han and Dae Chul.  My competitive nature got the best of me and I won every game, but a few of them came down to the last point and I really had to give my all.  Soo Min was pretty funny… he kept saying in Korean, “Okay, now I’m playing for real” at the beginning of each game we would play.  During my last game I played two on two with Dong Chan (4^th grade) as my teammate.  I encouraged him a lot and we ended up winning with him scoring a few points.  I think he was really blessed from the time.  He called out goodbye to me from the window as I was walking outside.  The dorm mothers have encouraged me to get rest.  They are all sore from today, and they say tomorrow will be even tougher.  We’ll be starting at 9am.   I came back and journaled and prayed some.  Time to rest.  God bless!!!

Oh, and I’ll post pictures of the Shalom room boys along with a few kim-jang pictures on Saturday…

Welcome to 온유방 (Meek Room)!  Also below, two baby room dorm mothers and a bunch of extra pictures thanks to Min Shik 

Hae Mi dorm mother and Ji Won

Kyung Mi dorm mother and Jung Hwan… Kyung Mi grew up at Geon Children’s Home with her sisters.  She went to college and majored in social services, and then returned to Geon to work as a dorm mother after she graduated.  Although her and her sisters rent an apartment 20 minutes from here and she goes there to rest on her off days, she still considers Geon her home.

Kyung Hwan (Jung Hwan’s older brother)

Ye Rang

Min Shik

Il Ho

Sung Hyun

Hyun Suk

Sang Hoon

Hyun Woo

Eun Ho

Ji Won again

One more Ji Won… this boy tends to reflect those around him… so when we are all smiling and laughing, he always has a huge smile and laughs with us 

Ye Rang again (these kids are all goofballs)

Min Shik again

Min Shik had my camera for a while, so here are a few pics he took of himself, or had Il Ho take of him…

Very nice…

Styling…

Soldier Min Shik… (nice pajamas, right?)

Nerdy Min Shik (my favorite)…

Min Shik took a bunch of pictures like this one, after each he would yell “작다! 작다!” which means, “small!  small!” 

Ye Rang showing me a magic trick…

I always get a workout when I’m with these kids…

Playing “Superman” with Ji Won… even Sung Hyun had me “fly” him around…

Two of the four baby room dorm mothers…

Sun Young dorm mother with Yoon Ji and Hyun Bin

Soo Jin dorm mother with Kang

Whew!  I hope you enjoyed those 26 pictures!  God bless!

Hillsong – Mighty To Save (Zephaniah 3:17 – “The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save.  He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing.”)

HOMOSEXUALITY and America…

I write this entry because recently as I have been praying, during deep times of prayer in the Spirit, tears come to my eyes as I pray for and think of America.  It is the home of so many “Christians”… and yet the country is falling apart.  Many people grow up believing that Sodom and Gomorrah (Genesis 19) were destroyed because of their rampant homosexuality.  This is not true.  Please read the following Scripture from Ezekiel 16:49-50, and as you read please think about America…

“Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom:  She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy.  They were haughty and did detestable things before me.  Therefore I did away with them as you have seen.”

Think about America 50 years ago.  Were people so overfed and fat in America 50 years ago?  How were the morals?  Think about old TV shows like “Leave It To Beaver” or “The Dick Van Dyke Show.”  Were the subject matters on TV always about sex and/or violence?  Was there as much divorce and neglect in the family as there is today? 

Do you think God is pleased with how America is changing? 

Does this make you weep?  I know the Lord is grieved, otherwise my spirit would not be so troubled.

I know if Christians in America will humble themselves and pray and fast, God will hear from heaven and forgive their sin and heal their land (2Chronicles 8:14).  I pray for the sleeping giant that is the church in America to awaken and act quickly in prayer, fasting, and supporting God’s work.  Revival has to start with someone.  I pray, if you live in America, you will begin praying and fasting for God’s church there…

Editor’s Note:  JM’s new cell phone number is 010-5460-2777

Welcome to 사랑방 (Love Room)! 

Won Bin and dorm mother Yoo Mee

Eun Ji and dorm mother Min Kyung

Soo Jin

Sun Ran (Eun Ji’s older sister)

Young Eun

Yoo Jin

Ah Reum

Hyun Hee Kim

So Young Kim

Yun Hwa (Hyun Hee’s sister, notice the resemblance?)

So Young Pak

Bo Yun

An extra pic of Won Bin and me

Won Bin needs a little extra attention, so for now he is in a girls’ dorm.  He will probably move to a boys’ dorm in a year or two.

Everyone who works at this orphanage are paid employees.  South Korean orphanages are about 90% government funded.  I am the only full-time volunteer here.  The dorm mothers all have degrees or schooling in social services.  They have to give up a lot to work here.  They work on 24 hour shifts, every other day.  The first dorm mother Yoo Mee came here two and a half years ago.  She did not expect to stay here so long, but she fell in love with the kids.  Because the job is so taxing (taking care of 10 – 14 kids, long hours), some dorm mothers only last a year or two.  We got a lot of new dorm mothers this year.  Two of them are only 22 or 23 years old.  Most of them are my age or a couple years older.  You’ll be meeting everyone else soon, this is room 2 of 7 (baby room last week).  God bless!

Passion Worship Band – Kindness/Give Us Clean Hands

Hello friends!  I want to introduce you the 2nd orphanage volunteer to come from the States and give a commitment to an orphanage here in Seoul.  His commitment is for 9 months; it may end up longer though.  John chose to work part time at an academy as an English teacher to help cover his living costs.  If you are interested in becoming a volunteer out here and joining our ministry, please read through some of the questions I asked John below. 

Name:  John Lee

DOB:  7/20/83

Hometown:  Bayside, New York 11360

University:  Cornell University

Graduation Class:  Class of ‘05

Degree:  BA Animal Science/Pre-Med

What made you decide to come to Korea to serve at the orphanage?

Circumstances concerning application to graduate school, allowed me a period of about 8 months to spend however I wanted from the time of application to the expected date of entry.  I did not want to continue working in molecular biology, which I did for a year after graduating from university.  I had a very cursory interest in orphanages, and thought it would be great fun to go and volunteer at an orphanage during this “free” time, to get to know the kids, and to learn as much as I could about the institution itself.  By this point in my life I knew I enjoyed working with children.  I came to Korea for no other reason than for my enjoyment.  I don’t consider myself to be on a mission trip: Christian or Humanitarian.  This was solely for my curiosity on the subject, and a desire for an exciting, culturally stretching experience. 

How do you feel about your experience so far?

I am having the best time of my life.  I experience more consistent joy on a daily basis than I have ever before.  I have never felt more satisfaction with how I spend my days, and I feel a worth in living that was hard to achieve consistently while I was in school, and wasn’t as intense while I was in the working-world.  I have come to genuinely love the children I see and work with everyday.  They have become a part of my heart, and I would die for them knowing my life would not have been wasted.

Could you possibly do this for life?  Why?

I know I will be working with kids for the rest of my life.  I am hesitant to say that I can do what I am doing now, for the rest of my life.  Only because I think it would not be enough.  If I were to continue working at an orphanage, I would want to be more involved than I am now; I want to be more than just a teacher.  I would like to be an older brother to these kids, or maybe something more.  Definitely, this kind of work satisfies the need for “Worth” in my life.  A life working at an orphanage is a worthy life.  It would not be a life wasted.  But there may be another, equally satisfying role God has planned for me to play in this life.  I want to be open to the specific work God has planned for me.  Although at the moment, I am leaning toward orphan work as part of my life’s calling. 

Any advice to others from your experiences?

I came to Korea because where I lived in the States, New York, there are no orphanages.  It is completely a foster care system.  I chose Korea because I am Korean American, and can speak some of the language.  Both these facts have been an IMMENSE advantage for me.  Unlike a true foreigner, I had no trouble adjusting to the food or the culture.  Also, I imagine it would have been much more difficult for someone who cannot speak the language at all to have come to Korea and tried to build more than a superficial relationship with these kids.  But speaking for myself, I do not hesitate to say that this was one of the best decisions of my life.  Thank God the kids have eagerly accepted me, and I have felt hardly a bump during my transition into this family.  I still have some months to go, but I am confident my joy (and my faith) will only increase and mature as I continue my work here trying to love these kids daily.  I can also say confidently that God has met my every need for me to be here at all: visa, money issues, housing, friends – all of which were up in the air when I got on the plane.  I say come at your own risk.  Not for provision, for God will give you everything you need to stay, but for what God may do in your life.  You may very well find Him changing your old life-plans, for something unexpectedly more exciting. 

Pictures of John with some of his kids at his orphanage…

Cool stuff:  After one of my speaking engagements in a small town in Virginia, a lady approached me.  She told me about her sister who is in her 30′s but is mentally disabled.  Because of her handicap, the woman is limited to being able to do only a few things.  One of the main things she knows how to do is to knit small winter caps.  Her sister has knitted hat after hat, because its one of the few things she knows how to do.  Her sister asked her to find a home for these hats.  After hearing my talk, the lady asked me if I would be willing to take a bag of her sister’s winter caps for my kids.  I gladly accepted and was able to fit them in my suitcase.  My kids were really happy to receive them!  I had so many that I was able to give them to other orphanage volunteers within our ministry.  Now this lady’s hats are at three different orphanages in Seoul.  Cool stuff!  Enjoy the pics (I apologize for any shaky spots, time for a new camera)…

Geon Orphanage Baby Room…

The youngest, Na Rae

Na Rae

Jung Ho

Yoon Ji

Hyun Bin

Yoon Ji playing

Kids playing

Kee Baek

Kee Baek and me

The kids and me

Kids playing the classic, “Where did Kee Baek and Hyun Bin go?”  *Lifts up hat*  “There they are!”

Kang (taken a couple days later)

An extra treat, here are two pics from another orphanage that John Lee is volunteering at.  I will be profiling this volunteer in my next xanga entry.  He is the first to follow my lead from the States and come to Korea to serve the kids.  His orphanage is in Sadang, Seoul…

Yup, the kids over there are definitely cute too

Tim Hughes – God of Justice (Soul Survivor 2005 CD – We Must Go)

An Encouraging Story…

  One Friday afternoon a junior high math teacher asked her students at St. Mary’s School in Morris, Minnesota, to list the names of all the other students in the class, leaving a space between names.  Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down.  At the end of the period she collected these sheets and over the weekend, she wrote the name of each student on a separate sheet and listed what everyone had said about that person.  On Monday, she gave each student his or her list.
  As they began reading, they started whispering to each other, “I never knew that meant anything to anyone” or, “I didn’t know others liked me so much.”  The papers were never discussed in class, but the teacher knew the exercise was a success because it gave her students such a positive feeling about themselves.
  Several years later, one of those students, Mark Eklund, was killed in Vietnam.  After his body was returned to Minnesota, most of his classmates, along with the math teacher, attended the funeral.  At the luncheon after the service, the father of the young man said to the teacher, “I want to show you something,” and took a wallet out of his pocket.  “They found this on Mark when he was killed.  We thought you might recognize it.”  Opening the billfold, he removed two worn sheets of notebook paper which had been taped, folded, and refolded many times.  It was the list of good things Mark’s classmates had written about him.
  “Thank you so much for doing that,” Mark’s mother told the teacher.  “As you can see, our son treasured it.”  One by one, Mark’s classmates began to reveal that each of them still had their sheet and that they read it often.  Some carried it in a billfold; one had even put it in his wedding album.  One man said, “I think we all saved our list.”

I got this story from the book “The Five Love Languages of Children.”  1Thessalonians 5:11, Hebrews 3:13, and Hebrews 10:25.  Keep encouraging each other, you may never know how great of a difference you are making…