September 23, 2008
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Something to Confess…
Some of my kids at my home are a bit more difficult than others. The most difficult kids are the ones who refuse to admit they are in the wrong and instead make excuses or blame other people. After they disobey their dorm mother will confront them and lecture them, but they will argue back, complain through their punishment, and then move on and likely disobey again. The problem is, a lot of these kids are really sensitive, so even when they are being lectured for their wrong they interpret their dorm mother’s frustration into meaning the dorm mom hates them. Its a wicked cycle… more disobedience, more excuses, more frustration for the dorm mom, and more scarring for the kids.
I’ve noticed the same though with people in their walk with God. When they face the consequences of their sins, rather then confessing and repenting and running into the arms of their loving God, they instead try to hide or bury their sin and often will make excuses or deny their wrong. For some, they then become bitter before God because they aren’t receiving His blessings. What they don’t realize is their unconfessed sin is always before God. Jeremiah 2:22 says, “The stain of your guilt is still before me.” Jeremiah 5:25 says, “Your wrongdoings have kept these (blessings) away.”
What we all have to understand is the most important step after disobeying is acknowledging we did wrong. Recently I told one of the kids who has gotten in a lot of trouble but is also very sensitive… when you mess up, you need to: confess, apologize (repent), ask for forgiveness, and promise not to do it again. The steps aren’t hard. And you know what? After sharing with this child how much her dorm mother loves her and teaching her the simple steps of repentance, the child has been doing a whole lot better. Confession is powerful.
Jeremiah 3:12-13 – “‘Return… I will frown on you no longer, for I am merciful,’ declares the Lord, ‘I will not be angry forever. Only acknowledge your guilt.’”
Comments (1)
I’ve got about 80 kids with that problem. Haha! Newport News schools are rough.
Yeah, but my behavior management teacher (the best guy in the world), gave us a very effective little saying to help us with “problem kids”. Basically, “Bad kids need more.” As in, bad kids need more love and attention. Bad kids try to draw adults into a cycle of yelling and arguing because they crave attention more than normal kids because they have more insecurities. Dr. Herr taught us to have firm consistent rules with clear consequences so that when you face a violation, simply state the rule and the way the child violated the rule and the consequence. Have no other discussion on the matter. When you do give attention, give attention when the student is doing positive behaviors and REALLY pour it on. Because they crave attention so bad, they start to actually do good behaviors after a while. It takes time, but it actually works. I’ve had rough teenage gangsters turn from throwing things at the teacher to smiling, doing all their work, and even saying “thanks!”
good luck!