May 12, 2011

• Love and Worship

  Last November I hadn’t been on a date in 10 years.  In December I suddenly had feelings grow for a good friend of mine, Sky.  In January I asked her out for a date, and within a week we were in a relationship.  Then on March 30th I proposed to her and we will be getting married August 15th.  Whew! 

  As you can likely imagine, my life has gotten all out of balance.  During those 10 years of being fully focused on the Lord I grew so much closer to Him.  Intimate time with Him during extended times of prayer and worship and reading the Word was regular.  I was undivided.  But since December I have felt more and more unbalanced.  I felt my heart drawn in two places instead of just one.  I would stress and be hard on myself at times when I wouldn’t be able to spend as much time with God as I was used to or be as focused when I was with Him.  Yet through all of this new season for me, God has constantly spoken to me strongly that I am to walk in His grace and that my focus is to be on Sky.  She is the number one priority for me, and He said that to me long before we were engaged and has continued to say the same.  And so I learned to lean on His grace more.  I’m continuing to find the new balance of my relationship with her and our relationship with God.  We are gradually experiencing how one plus one equals one.  And we are growing a lot, although not in the same exact ways as before.  It’s been different and unfamiliar at times for us (she has been going through the same), but it has been good. 

  The other day a pastor from Hong Kong shared with me that the core value of his church is family.  Family comes before all other ministry.  He told me that he went through the same transition when he first got married (which all people do as they get married, I imagine) and God emphasized to him that to love his wife is to worship God.  While we often put our quiet time with God and our ministry to people as our greatest ways to worship God, God actually looks the closest at our most intimate relationships for our true worship.  In fact, if we don’t honor our most intimate one then our prayers are literally hindered (1Peter 3:7).  It is so important to find this balance and learn how to please your lover that soldiers weren’t allowed to go to war for a year so that they could bring happiness to their wife (Deuteronomy 24:5).  That wasn’t a man made law, that was a command from God.  A happy, healthy marriage is more important to God than a person throwing themselves into ministry and sacrificing the health of that relationship.  The pastor also told me it is the same in having children.  You learn how to worship God through loving your children and you go through a whole new transition of finding new balance. 

  It’s exciting, and what he shared refreshed me.  I’m so thankful God isn’t rigid or demanding, but leads us gently by His Spirit.  God is so good!

  • 11:38 am
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