A Preview

For the dorm parents each Christmas I try and get them a small gift of appreciation for all their hard work.  The past couple years I have gotten the dorm moms skin lotions/body washes from Bath and Body Works in the States and American food/goofy gifts for the dorm dads.  I wasn’t able to pick up a bunch of stuff from my last time home though, so this year I’m going to give the dorm parents framed pictures of their kids.  My friend Tanya joined me last week during a visit to my home and took some fantastic pictures.  We weren’t able to get everyone though, so I’ve had to take some of my own.  Her pics will be 10x better, but they aren’t ready yet so I will have to upload them better.  Instead, here is a preview of my own… these are the Peace Room boys, some of the oldest in the home… good stuff!

God bless!  =)

Choosing Relationship Over Wisdom

An older friend shared with me that recently his 14 year old son approached him and his mom and asked to talk with them.  After they sat down his son shared about a girl he had gotten to know and expressed his interests in her.  He then asked my friend and his wife if he could date her.  My friend’s wife praised their son for being so open and vulnerable with them about his interests.  But my friend had to ask his son, “You know our faith is very important to us… is she Christian, or non-Christian?”  His son responded, “She isn’t Christian.”  Immediately “NO!!! NO!!! NO!!!” ran through my friend’s mind.  But just before he could speak again the Holy Spirit spoke, “Your relationship with your son hinges on how you respond.”  And so he paused, and then asked his son if they could get back to him the next day. 

As my friend prayed about it all he could think of was, “She isn’t Christian, this is a no-brainer… I will not let my son get hurt or make such a mistake… I can’t let him date her.”  But then, to his surprise, the Holy Spirit spoke to him clearly and said, “If you really love your son you will show interest in his interests.”  To which my friend responded, “Yeah, well, she is a non-Christian!  I will show interest when he chooses someone better.”  But God continued to press him that true love is showing interest and connecting relationally rather than controlling.  And then for emphasis, God showed him a vision of him and his son in ten years if he chooses to disregard his son’s interest and say no… and in the vision he was standing by his son in a formal relationship, not close but as if they were acquaintances…. very little connection between them.  The vision shook up my friend.  As much as he wanted to make the “wise” decision for his son, he began to understand that connecting with his son is far more important than controlling/sheltering him.  God also showed him that his daughters were also watching what was happening with their brother, and so his decision for his son was going to clearly set a precedent for them and would affect how open or closed their hearts would be.

And so the next day he told his son, “You have my permission to date her.  And I want you and her to know that she is always welcome at this house to join us for meals or to go on excursions together.  I want to get to know her and I want to show care for her as I show care for you.”  His son was surprised and thanked his dad.  And my friend felt a peace within him as he surrendered the situation to the Lord.

Ironically, when he asked about the girl about a week later, his son responded that they had decided to not date because he felt he was “too young” for a relationship.  Funny.  =)

My friend’s story challenged me.  Truly relating with the youth today is far more important than trying to control them or shelter them.  They need connection and people to show them attention.  They need people to understand them.  It’s good to know that God is over us all and that our prayers are powerful. 

God bless!

Releasing the Chip Dip

My kids absolutely love a specific chip dip that my mom taught me how to make a long time ago:  Wolf Dip.  All that it requires is a block of cream cheese, a can of Hormel chili (no beans), and a small can of diced green chilis.  First warm the cheese in a pot, and then add the chili and green chilis and stir it up until all the cheese has fully melted.  My kids destroy this stuff.  The problem is, I can only get those ingredients from people who visit Korea or from people who have access to the commissary on base in Seoul (usually only active military people).  And so although for almost a year I haven’t been able to treat my kids, and they would still continually remember how good the chip dip is and ask for it.  Thankfully a couple weeks ago one of Sky’s friends was able to get us the ingredients… enough for me to visit all six rooms and make it for all the kids.  So now every night I’m at the home for the next week or so I am making it for one room at a time… thus making my home a pretty happy place.^^

Here are some pics from a recent visit to Love Room…

Sun Ran trying to figure out how to use a can opener (Koreans don’t use cans for some reason)

Sun Ah

Da Heen

With Min Seung

Kids munching on the chips and dip

Min Seung and Soo Yun

The Love Room girls and their dorm mom after finishing the snack

One more

The Shalom Room boys and their dorm mom after they also got chips and dip (these junior high boys inhaled it in seconds)

One more…

God bless!

“The Teacher is Asking for You”

These days God continues to remind me over and over how much He treasures personal relationship more than anything else.  A few days ago a friend of mine copied me on a devotional he had read.  It blessed me and I thought I would share… if you don’t know or understand the background to the verse (Jesus entering the town to raise Martha and Mary’s dead brother Lazarus from the grave), please read all of John 11 before reading the devotional…

~ Now Jesus had not yet entered the village,but was still at the place where Martha had met him (John11, v.30).

What can I learn from this? Jesus iswaiting outside the village where he had Martha to meet with Mary. Jesus islooking for a chance to meet with people individually. Those who have prayedfor him to come and have interceded for others, are the first ones to have anencounter with the coming Lord. Jesus is waiting for our response. So manytimes we are waiting on the Lord to come and help us, but God is waiting for usto come to him. God’s concern for man is to be in relationship. He desires tosee us, he is crazy about us, I am his favorite one. He thinks I am awesome! Hewants to cooperate with us, and move on behalf of our prayers. That is why heemphasizes the need for prayer, it is another way of saying, I want to talk to you,I want you to know my heart for you, I want to be closer to you. Jesus says, ifyou remain in me, and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and itwill be given you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit,showing yourselves to be my disciples. Just like Jesus was waiting for Mary tocome out and meet with him, so Jesus is calling out to us, asking for ourpresence, and inviting us to be with him. I find this amazing. Jesus is in nohurry to be in ministry and raise Lazarus from the dead. He meets with Marthaand Mary in private first before entering into public ministry. Jesus is aboutto do one of his greatest miracles to establish himself as Messiah and God’sSon, but He is concerned for this one ex-prostitute from this weird family inthis small village, “the Teacher is asking for you.” 

Goodbyes…

This year a number of kids who had been at the home for a long time have ended up leaving.  Some of them were transferred to other homes because of specific needs while another went to live with his relatives.  Here are some pics of some of the boys who have gone…

With Joon Hyuk on the left and Won Bin on the right… Joon Hyuk left a couple months ago

With Jung Hwan who also left

Jung Hwan and his brother Kyung Hwan were too of the first kids to reach out to me when I arrived in the home nearly six years ago

Thankfully the three of them left together to a home that will better fit Jung Hwan and Joon Hyuk (both have special needs)

Min Shik is another boy who I have been close to over my six years at the children’s home… with him (on the right) and Il Ho

Out of all the kids I’ve probably laughed the most with these two boys during my time here

The pictures get worse so I’ll stop with this one…

Love them while you got them!  And entrust them to the Lord…

God bless!

Intimacy’s Greatest Enemy (Good Marriage Prep!)

I was listening to a message Pastor Marcus sent out about intimacy from Gateway Church and his main point resounded with me.  “Intimacy’s greatest enemy is insecurity.”  He shared that it’s when we are insecure we are unable to believe the love being given to us.  And we know we are insecure when we find ourselves comparing ourselves to others rather than being confident and secure in who we are, regardless of others.

Sky and I have only been married for about three months and already this word has been proven time and time.  I already blogged about how I’ve learned how self defensive (in other words prideful/insecure) I am since getting married.  Both Sky and I have had our insecurities come up, and every time they do were are suddenly unable to to receive or even believe in the love of the other.  You would think that since we are married we would be 100% confindent in each others love, but the truth is that whenever an insecurity is revealed suddenly that confidence is gone.  We then have to talk things out with often one of us usually frustrated or hurt that the other isn’t receiving or believing the love.  Once the insecurity is dealt with we become more close in our love for each other.  And it’s when we are most secure that our love is the strongest and the sweetest. 

The pastor quoted Proverbs 30:23 how the earth cannot bear, “An unloved woman who is married.”  The description seems that it isn’t so much that other people don’t love the woman, but that the woman is unable to receive love.  The one woman in the Bible who had this description (the same Hebrew for “unloved” as that verse) was Leah, Jacob’s second wife.  Jacob loved Rachel, but did not love Leah.  Rachel was beautiful in form and impressed him, whereas Leah was described as having either “tender” or “weak” eyes, depending on the translation.  This led to Leah being jealous of her sister and insecure of her standing.  Leah was an example of an insecure woman comparing herself to others.  It was no wonder her father deceived Jacob into marrying her… no man in his right mind would want to marry an insecure woman who compares herself to others.  It only leads to trouble.

I can say a huge advantage to marrying later than sooner is that, if we are willing and open, God can work out many of our insecurities before marriage.  That way when we finally make the vows, we are fully secure in love and even when there are miscommunications or people voicing comparison, we have absolutely no concern and are relaxed and confident in our spouse’s love.  I can tell how much people are ready for marriage by how secure they are in their identity in Christ and who they are as a person. 

And it works with our relationship with God as well.  It’s when we are secure in His love for us that we are able to receive His love fully and in turn give it others.  It wasn’t until Leah’s 4th son that she became secure in God’s love.  She named the 4th son, “Judah,” which means, “Praise,” in praise to God.  And it was Judah’s descendants who eventually bore Jesus Christ.  In fact, it was Judah from whom we get the name, “Jews” in reference to all the descendants of Jacob.  It’s when we are secure that we are able to bear the fullness of God’s blessings in our lives.

May God bless your marriage!  =)

Jerusalem Ministry Soccer Camp 4.0

July 18 – 20 of this year Jerusalem Ministry (www.jerusalemministry.org) held our 4th annual soccer camp for 3rd – 6th grade boys from various children homes in Seoul.  We hold it every year during rainy season because it is the only time the boy are available… and for all four years God has stopped the rain just before the camp started and granted us beautiful weather.  This year we had 43 boys from 5 homes gather and 34 volunteers serve.  That might sound like too many volunteers, but the truth is that the more volunteers we have the greater love and attention the boys receive.

Kids have always commented how different Jerusalem Ministry camps are from the other many camps they attend.  One boy this year commented to one of our staff that the volunteers at the soccer camp are different from all the volunteers he has met at other camps because he felt genuine love at this camp.  Another boy burst into tears when it was time to say goodbye after our final meal together.  For both of those kids it was their first camp with our ministry and it was also perhaps the first time they had experienced such powerful love and attention.  Three days doesn’t seem like long, but with God’s love it can just take a special smile and word of encouragement to break off lies in the kids’ hearts.  These camps continue to get better and better!

Here is a video from the camp… enjoy!!!  Special thanks to John Choi for putting it together!

God bless!

Relationships and Commitment

This current generation, particularly from America, is the first to grow up in a culture where divorce is common and single parent homes are also common.  It is the first to have such a strong spirit of rejection/orphan spirit over the vast majority.  Very few can say they grew up in a stable home and a healthy environment. 

It is also the first generation to have the internet and so many social networking options, allowing for more friends/connections than ever before.  Think about it, before 1995 how many could say they have “500+ friends” that they could easily get in touch with at any time?  But now on Facebook, that number is common, with many having over 1,000 and even 2,000 friends/connections that they could message at anytime.  With so many people out there, the options seem to abound.

With these two factors in mind, it’s easy to understand why so few people are choosing to marry, regardless of religious and social background.  There is a fear of commitment that is strong among this generation, stemming from the orphan spirit.  This causes many to avoid even trying, out of fear of rejection.  For non-Christians, many are choosing simply not to marry but to co-habitate out of the fear/knowledge they will eventually break up.  The fear of commitment also causes people to believe that they should wait for extremely perfect circumstances before committing.  Because there are so many options (1,500 friends?), there is the thought that amidst the haystack they will eventually find their needle.  Faith is good, but the truth is it will never be perfect circumstances.  In fact, choosing to commit ALWAYS requires faith.  There will never be a “perfect circumstance” where no faith is involved. 

Some Christians wish for God to just make things clear through dreams and prophetic words and the audible voice of God.  But in every relationship that I have witnessed where God has seemed to make it clear before people really know each other, much more faith has always been required (think Joseph and Mary in the Bible).  The reason is, God releases words to strengthen our faith… if we don’t need faith, then He doesn’t need to speak.  But when we need faith the most, He speaks.  People think once God has spoken something that it will just be easy, but the truth is that whenever God speaks usually much greater faith is needed.  We have to hold on to His words!

Another consequence of the orphan spirit is that it causes people to try to detach from commitment out of fear of ever being controlled or contained.  People would rather be in control of their lives and have the freedom to use their own money and do their own thing and never feel indebted to anyone else.  They don’t want to feel restricted or trapped.  But the truth is that fear only encourages selfishness, which is the opposite of love.  If people really want to learn what love is, they need committed relationships… both friendships and marriage.  Love is not conditional.  Whether my wife is having a good day or a bad day, I am to be committed and loving to her.  That is true love (this analogy is the same for people struggling to commit to a church).  Many people think they will know it is true love with someone long before they are engaged.  They are wrong.  They might feel they are compatible before they are engaged, but they still know little of true love.  True love only comes after commitment, whenever selflessness is required. 

I believe that Christian marriages for this generation are going to flourish because of the faith that is more and more being required.  Those who choose to marry will have the faith to commit despite their fears of commitment and fears there are better options elsewhere.  They will choose to marry not to be served, but rather to love.  And they will truly be blessed!

God bless!