The Need For Connection

I recently showed the movie “The Warrior” to some of my family while in Hawaii.  It’s a powerful film that demonstrates just how much we need to hear and to know we are loved.  That is something that so many people know, but so few people act upon.  

The song I’ve uploaded (The National – About Today) is a beautiful yet somber song that is such a great example of how much we need to keep connected, particularly with those we should be the closest with.  So many marriages are falling apart because people are becoming too wrapped up in their own lives/interests to connect with their spouses.  So many aren’t even getting married because they are too focused on their own lives and goals to take the time to simply connect.  And so life slips away.

People say you won’t know what you got until it’s gone.  But the truth is what we’ve got can often already be gone in our hearts and minds without us even being aware.  

It’s a somber song, but definitely worth the listen.  And please take some time today to connect with those who you know should be your top priority.  May every marriage, family, and close friendship only grow in intimacy and strength.

Blessings!

The National – About Today

Today you were far away
and I didn’t ask you why
What could I say
I was far away
You just walked away
and I just watched you
What could I say

How close am I to losing you

Tonight you just close your eyes
and I just watch you
slip away

How close am I to losing you

Hey, are you awake
Yeah I’m right here
Well can I ask you about today

How close am I to losing you
How close am I to losing

Hawaii Trip!

For one week Sky and I were able to travel to the big island of Hawaii to spend time with my parents, two sisters, and their husbands.  We went snorkeling, kayaking, ziplining, stargazing at “the best place for stargazing in the world,” 4-wheel driving to waterfalls and black sand beaches, and also took some time to relax on the beach and eat good home cooked meals together that my family made where we stayed.  It was an amazing vacation crammed within five days.  We wish it could have been longer, but it was still great and filled with memories.  Enjoy the pictures!  =)

Sky after being greeted by my parents at the airport

Our first dinner… made by my parents and my older sister Katie…

The family all gathered to eat… Todd too hungry to smile =)

At the beach with Sky

At a lu’au… the fire guy was by far the most entertaining, of course

At a rest stop area on the way up the mountain to stargaze

With mom

With Sky above the cloud line on the mountain where we would watch the sunset and then see the stars like we had never seen them before… in the background is one of ten huge telescopes owned by various countries… we were at literally the best place in the world to stargaze because of the lack of light pollution (middle of the ocean and Hawaii has a specific light code that allows for only low level/infrared lighting) and it being above the cloud line… they (multiple universities, businesses and nations working together) were actually planning to make a billion dollar telescope there… a billion dollars!!!

One of my favorite memories… taking our two four wheel drive jeeps down the cliff into a valley with a near identical cliff on the other side, a river in between the cliffs, the tallest waterfall in Hawaii on one side (the cliffs were in a U shape) and the ocean on the other side complete with a black sand beach where the river met the ocean.  The black sand was formed from the lava that initially covered the island from its first volcanoes… the black sand was so smooth and soft.  Loved this place!

Love this picture

Todd and I crossed the river and went to the end to the cliff… this picture is of us coming back and crossing the rushing river together (it got deeper, but we managed to stay upright since we supported each other)

I brought back a coconut I had found under a coconut tree for my wife who had been desiring to drink out of a coconut

Coconut juice!

My dad hiding in an amazing tree…

Check out my wife’s Facebook (Sky J Becker) or my Facebook (John Michael Becker) for more pictures.  Blessings!!!

The Kids (and Adults) Who Remain Children at Heart

Everyday I am at the home my kids will ask me to play with them after dinner.  They absolutely love it when I chase them all around the playground and try and catch them and tickle them. 

Today I told the kids I would come out and play with them after doing some work in the office.  While working in there we suddenly heard a bunch of the kids screaming out, “J–M!!!”  “J–M!!!”  “J–M!!!”  All the office workers looked at me wondering what was going on and I just shook my head and said, “I’m sorry.”  Soon some of the kids came in and asked again how long it would be and I said just a few more minutes.  And sure enough, just a few minutes later we heard them altogether shouting out my name again.  The manager asked me, “What are you going to do with them?”  I smiled sheepishly and said, “Chase them around… I’m 30 years old and I’m still playing this way.”  They all laughed.

What is somewhat surprising is that it isn’t just the kindergarten and young elementary school kids who love it when I chase them, catch them, and tickle them.  Almost all the boys who are middle school and even high school enjoy it too.  They usually won’t run around with the little kids, but if I do suddenly go after them they will laugh a lot and enjoy the attention.  Some of the middle school girls at the home also tend to still act childish and silly and enjoy the attention despite being at ages where they should have grown out of it at least a year or two earlier.  They are still little children at heart around mother/father figures who are playful with them. 

While serving as the healing and deliverance pastors at our church and counseling many different people, my wife and I have noticed how a number of people who were sexually abused as children have different childlike quirks to them.  Our thought was that because a large part of their childhood was robbed from them that it was still coming out despite them being adults.  But what we are realizing is that for people who didn’t have fathers or didn’t receive positive attention from their parents when they were young, they are often still starving for that parental attention even when they are adults.  I know different adult men who light up just like my kids when I give them a really big smile, a high five, and enthusiastic encouragement.  Most adults would feel awkward if they had to receive such actions from me, but for such people like my kids those actions are crucial for them.

I’ve noticed that more and more Korean kids are similar to my kids at the children’s home.  They are also starving for positive attention and safe touch and affection.  Kids in Korea have to study almost all the time and their parents are rarely around.  I asked one Korean middle school boy about his dad (who is a pastor) and he said, “I don’t know him that well.  He is always busy with work and ministry.”  It’s sad how big the lack is of positive attention from parents among the younger generation. 

One of my favorite memories from serving over 6 and a half years at the children’s home was seeing one of the oldest girls gather a bunch of the kids and toddlers in a circle and dance and skip around in a circle while happily singing.  All the kids were so happy and were so free!  I’m looking forward to seeing more and more of these kids find this freedom in the Lord and be able to dance and sing freely in His Presence, receiving all the needed, safe, positive attention that they had missed in their youth.  Come, Lord!

God bless!