September 15, 2012

• Basketball Tournament Pics and Overcoming Fear

  Today my boys basketball team that I have coached since 2007 won the Seoul children’s home basketball tournament for their first time ever!!!  I was so proud of them!  

  The day started with the children homes girls kickball tournament and our home participated for the first time.  I served as an assistant coach and our girls ended up losing in the first game (to the team that would end up winning the championship).  The girls had played very nervous the whole game and made different mental mistakes.  I was still proud of how well they tried, but they were disappointed after the match and most of them wanted to go home.  A few of them wanted to stay for the basketball tournament though.  Out of all the tournaments I’ve attended, for both soccer and basketball, neither the girls nor anyone else from the children’s home (aside from one dorm dad) had ever attended the tournaments to cheer on the kids.  I encouraged the girls to stick around, and so they agreed to.  They weren’t let down!

  I began to feel very nervous myself for my boys.  We’ve practiced really hard the past few weeks and have had weekly practices this past year.  But for all my boys but one, this was their first time playing in the tournament and some of them only had just a year experience of basketball.  They had developed really well, but they were lacking game experience with fellow peers.  I was nervous we would lose and the kids would still feel not good enough.  And my kids then began to tell me how nervous they felt, and one of my star players kept having to run to the bathroom.  I knew I was being confronted with the same fear as them, and as their coach/guardian I needed to disallow that fear from affecting me.  What the orphan spirit boils down to is a fear of rejection, and its that same fear that made the kids (and in turn me) nervous to lose and to feel not good enough/worthless.  I dealt with the pressure I was feeling and coached my kids as best as I could, encouraging them to relax throughout the games.

  The kids won their first three games and were finally in the championship, about to face our rival children’s home who had beaten us 4 out of the past 5 tournaments and had also beaten us at soccer.  My kids were really nervous again and another one of my best players asked me, “Is it okay if we just lose?”  I could tell he feared losing the game and feeling defeated, and feeling he had let everyone down, especially me.  I told him, “I don’t care whether you win or lose, I just want to see you give your best effort for the whole game to the very end.”  In the past I would have just told kids to have fun and to not care about winning or losing, but in truth if kids live with that feeling then they will fail at life.  The kids really need to know that the most important thing is their full effort (while enjoying it as they go), and as long as they give their full effort the results don’t matter.  

  So during the championship game I kept yelling to my kids, “Play hard until the end!  Play hard until the end!”  They were losing early on and I called a timeout and again encouraged them that all I cared about was that they played hard to the end.  15 minutes remained in the game, so I told them “15 more minutes.  Give me the best you can in 15 minutes, that’s all I want.”  And my kids did just that.  They took control from that point and finished strong, despite the other team giving one last hard effort.  I’m so proud of them!!!

  Enjoy the pictures  =)

  Prepping my boys before a game

  

  The boys meeting midcourt with the other team at the start

  

  Girls from the home cheering them on

  

  With my boys after our first win

  

  Coaching from the side with Yong Shin

  

  Yong Shin taking a free throw

  

  Nice!

  

  Encouraging Yong Shin after he fouled out of that game due to some tough calls

  

  Another action shot (we are in blue here)

  

  Girls cheering

  

  Friends Mary and Kate also cheering them on

  

  Sitting with my boys as we watched other games and waited for our next

  

  Chae Hyun

  

  Yong Shin

  

  The boys with Sky and our friends Mary and Kate

  

  Final score

  

  With the boys after winning it all (dorm dad too)

  

  With all the girls who cheered and a couple dorm parents as well =D

  

  We all went to an amazing meat buffet afterward to celebrate… this pic is of me speaking to the kids and praying for the meal for us

  

  Soo Jin in front of her feast

  

  Chae Hyun, Byung Chul, and Soo Hoon

  

  Blessings!!!  =D

  • 11:02 am
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