Testimony of the girl who inspired Oak Tree Project (our new scholarship/mentoring program for orphans who desire to attend college)…

My earliest childhood memory is when I was around five years old living at a home for babies. At the age of six, I was moved to an all-girls children’s home and grew up there until I graduated from high school. I have no memories of my parents or relatives. I only know that my mom was an unmarried single mother, which I learned from the director of my children’s home.

Before I entered into school, I spent most of my days with the other girls from the children’s home. I remember struggling with then ew environment and being fearful of the older girls at the home. When I entered into elementary school, my classmates started to make fun of me for being an orphan. It was then, for the first time in my life, that I realized I was an orphan. I was always a target for ridicule and I often was beaten by other kids both at school and at the children’s home. When I look back, the most difficult thing was the thought that there was no one to protect me and that I was always alone. In middle and high school, I tried my best to make friends and to fit in with everyone. I also tried to avoid being bullied. I disguised myself perfectly so that no one would ever find out about my background. I always struggled with the fact that I was all alone in this world and with the stigma of being an orphan.   

But then in high school I met a volunteer teacher named Mijeong Song. I was immediately comforted to have someone to whom I could be honest about my background and share openly about the things in my heart. Mijeong taught me for about a year and then we continued our relationship even after I entered college.

College days were different than I expected. I thought college would be filled with freedom but instead it was filled with struggles. After leaving the children’s home, for the first time in my life I had to take care of myself with everything including food and clothes. It was a very lonely time. The stipend money of 5,000,000 KRW (approximately a little less than $5,000 USD) that was given by the Korean government was not enough even to survive one semester after paying for college tuition, which was over 3,000,000KRW. Therefore, I had to get a job during the daytime and attend classes at night. Children, who have similar background stories as I do, usually begin a day at 6 o’clock in the morning and end it past midnight with no time to rest in between. Therefore, many children quit their studies in the middle and struggle through life. I had a difficult time as well, but because of my fear of the future I somehow persevered to finish college. During that time I had to keep up with the brutal schedule for three years without getting any rest. I couldn’t imagine having other things in my schedule other than school and work.

If I didn’t have Mijeong in my life, it would’ve been impossible for me to survive my adolescent days and those difficult times in college. Mijeong gave me strength and encouragement when I was going through my lonely days and when I was depressed from my busy schedule. She would meet up with me to treat me to delicious meals and she became joy and energy in my life. She also spoke dreams over me and told me about love that I never heard before. She always encouraged me that I was a loved person. She spoke over me that God is training me through my difficult life and He is dreaming a greater dream for my life. I found and experienced that God is always there for me and He is always protecting me. Mijeong cried with me when I was afraid of the fight against this world, and she also encouraged and poured out her wisdom upon me. I don’t remember when I started to believe this, but I know for sure that God is going to use me. God is going to encourage others through my life.

Although I finished school and have a regular job as an adult now, I still meet up with Mijeong often. I hope and dream of becoming someone like Mijeong to give inspiration, love, and strength to other children like me.  

Peace in Submission

In my Bible reading today I noticed an interesting verse in 1Peter 3…

1Peter 3:5-6 – For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord.  And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

This passage is about marriage and Peter speaks about how Sarah adorned herself (made herself beautiful) by the submission and the honor she showed to her husband Abraham.  While Sarah was a physically beautiful woman, her true beauty was in her honor to Abraham and her faithful submission to him.  So much is said about how faithful Abraham was to God by obeying God to leave his family, moving far away, and believing God for so much.  But at the same time much should be said about his other half Sarah who was with him during the entire journey and we read never objected once to Abraham’s faith and obedience.  And even in Sarah’s old age she was still considered beautiful by the world around her (Genesis 20). 

“Do not fear anything that is frightening.” I like how the Bible is real in saying that there are indeed things out there that are frightening to man, but at the same time if we are walking in submission then God’s protection and safety are promised to us.  This whole passage, in fact from 1Peter 2:12 - 1Peter 3:18, was all based on submission and trusting in the goodness and the faithfulness of God.  Peter exhorts us to submit to the leaders God has put over us and to trust that as we obey and show honor that God will in turn cover us and bless us.  The funny thing is, God doesn’t promise we will never “be hurt” by submitting, but God still promises that in the end we will be blessed and we will be able to live fearlessly…

1Peter 3:14 – But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed.  Have no fear of them, nor be troubled. 

God cannot bless rebellion!  He CANNOT bless rebellion!!!  This is why submission is so powerful and so important.  It becomes a true test of whether we believe in God’s goodness for our lives… that even when our spouse or our leader seems shaky, as long as we choose honor and not rebellion then God will bless us in the end.  It doesn’t mean blind and ignorant submission or not having a voice, but it does mean that when the leader (husband, person in authority) has made the decision then there will be full submission and honor.  And even if we may have to suffer for a moment, we will be blessed.  =) 

And as we grow in our trust in God’s goodness as we submit and do not rebel, then we are able to truly become fearless to the things of this world.  The things that once seemed frightening no longer have any power over us.  We know that even if it seems like we’ve fallen off of a cliff that God’s angels are catching us and God is going to turn it all for our good.  We are safe as we submit!

Our Fear of Loss Killing Our Hope for Increase 

I’ve recently been reading a book about the nation Israel and how, despite having a population of only 7 million people and being surrounded by enemy nations, they produce more start up companies than Japan, India, Korea, Canada, and the UK.  Israel is so succesful that there are more Israeli companies listed on NASDAQ than all companies from the ENTIRE European continent. 

The book states that one of the greatest hindrances to innovation and increase is the fear of loss companies might face if their innovation doesn’t work out.  This fear cripples most companies, but for the nation of Israel they can’t afford to allow fear to coerce them into a conservative, low-risk lifestyle.  Israel must survive, and so a culture has grown among the people that they must press forward and even if they fail at times they can still gain from the lessons they will learn from their failures.  Now more and more companies worldwide are looking to Israel for their research and development and for more amazing innovative ideas. 

Abraham knew he would be blessed wherever he would go because he knew God was with him.  Lot, on the other hand, looked more to the land and his surroundings for his provision.  Abraham was blessed wherever he went, even when he was in foreign lands that seemed unsafe.  Lot, on the other hand, gradually lost his resources and soon his wife and son-in-laws and all of his possessions.  Lot’s fear of loss ended up robbing him of everything he had.  He had chosen fear over faith, and how could God have blessed that? 

Blessed innovation and creativity and increase all require… faith.  God’s people must not allow fear of loss of provision or loss of security cripple them from increasing.  We must be like Abraham and move forward, knowing that God will indeed bless us, even if at times our surroundings don’t seem as fruitful as we would like them to be.  God rewards faith and He delights in people who put their hope and trust in His goodness. 

Bring Your increase, Lord!

Imprisoned for Quiet Time, Exiled for Sabbath… 

While rereading the book “The Heavenly Man” (highly recommend it!) about a Chinese evangelist named Brother Yun, what stood out to me most this time around was how Brother Yun’s admittedly greatest mistakes were choosing ministry and works over family and rest.  Brother Yun was imprisoned for extended time three times in his life, but only the first time was it clearly God’s will for him to go to prison where he was able to minister and grow with God powerfully.  The other two times though, Brother Yun had received warnings from his wife, from other leaders, and even in his dreams to slow down.  But because he had experienced so much success and because the harvest was so great, he chose to ignore the warnings and continued to move forward.  And both times he ended up being arrested and enduring harsh conditions in prison. 

Immediately upon being arrested he could feel conviction in his heart of his foolish actions.  While he had been doing great works for God, he had lost sight of his most important relationships… first with God, and then with his wife and kids.  So God had to put him in prison to get him to remember the true treasures in life and to get his relationship with God back in order.  God had to demonstrate that while Brother Yun’s responsibilities seemed urgent, God could remove him at any moment and the church and God’s movement could continue on.  God wasn’t worried about the works.  While works are important, relationship is far more important.  Brother Yun was imprisoned so he could have quality quiet time with God he had been missing.

The Israelites experienced similar things.  As the Israelites began to fall away from God under wicked kings, they gradually ignored God’s law and did as they pleased.  One of God’s 10 commandments was that the people take a sabbath every week to rest.  And their law also stipulated that they allow the land to rest every seven years.  If a farmer had a plot of land, he would work only 6/7 of the land and allow the 1/7 to rest, changing the land that would rest each year.  Nowadays this practice has proven to be good for the soil and allow for healthier crops.  But in those days the farmers didn’t know what was good for the soil and stopped practicing the sabbath, both for themselves and for their land.  And what happened?  After sending prophets to warn them for hundreds of years, God finally had enough and exiled all of Israel into foreign lands.  It had been about 490 years since King David, meaning the land should have rested for 70 years.  And so one of the specific reasons why God had them exiled was…

2Chronicles 36:21 – The land enjoyed its sabbath rests, all the time of its desolation it rested, until the seventy years were completed…

Brother Yun was imprisoned for some quiet time.  The Israelites were exiled for some sabbaths. 

Perhaps it might be good to reflect on your priorities?  Who/what is the source of your strength?  And who/what are you investing your most time in?

Isaiah 30:15 – In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength…

God bless!

Who Loves You? 

While visiting the children’s home today with my wife Sky, we stopped by the baby room.  I used to go to the baby room often when I lived in the home, but after moving out at the end of 2008 my visits there became less and less frequent.  The dorm moms (social workers) changed and the little ones I had spent time with the most had grown older and moved to other rooms.  I would still visit from time to time, but it had been a very long time since my last visit. 

We came in to see a young woman with the youngest one in the baby room (he is a year and a half).  We found out she is his mother and he was crying a lot because it had been a while since her last visit and he didn’t recognize her.  It saddened me because I knew his mom likely had her own broken story, and the thought of having her own child cry in fear of her could hurt her and actually cause her to not even try with him in the future.  When I first came to the home I would get upset at the thought of how the parents of many of the kids could leave them in a children’s home, but soon I came to realize that many of the parents are just as broken as the children and are also in great need of love and healing.  It’s hard for the unloved to be able to love.

But despite it being a while since my last visit to the room, I was surprised when two of the two year olds immediately recognized me and with big smiles ran to me to give me high fives (I always react dramatically when the little ones high five me as if they are super strong… they love that =)).  I spent some sweet time with them including going to a nearby park with them and some of the other younger kids.  Another young girl in the home, now in kindergarten, was also with us and she noticed that Sky had cut her hair.  Sky was surprised because it had been even longer since she had been able to visit and yet the young girl had noticed her haircut. 

While it might just be coincidence that these kids remembered us so well, I do know that kids inherently know who truly loves them.  For new kids at the home it always takes time to establish trust, but once it is established, regardless of age, there is a safety and security they feel that is evident in how they respond and act around me.  There is never fear or insecurity, but instead joy and even silliness, even when it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other.  

This is the same safety and security God desires for us to feel with Him.  Before we can effectively release true safety, security, and love to others we need to receive the truest safety, security, and love from God.  He wants us to know Him and spend time with Him.  And He wants us to know that even if we haven’t seen Him in a long time, He is still just as loving and joyful as before.  We can trust Him! 

The Lord loves you so!  God bless!