February 18, 2009

• Wife?

  I forgot to do my weekly post today and its now late at night and I'm not sure what to share, so I'll share what has been on my mind lately due to a number of people asking and even people dreaming of me the past few days... the wife situation.  Or, "the lack-thereof."    During my high school years I thought about girls A LOT and the thought of having a girlfriend would excite me.  But after breaking up with my last girlfriend when I was 18 and beginning college, I felt the Lord leading me to commit college to Him and not pursue any girls.  I realized just how much time I was spending thinking about girls and I decided to pledge that time to God.  I was so blessed by that decision.  In college I was freed from meeting girls and immediately thinking whether there might be "potential" to date.  I was able to simply see them as a sister in Christ.  When graduation came around in 2005, the pledge was done and I was free to date again.  But by then I sensed the Lord was leading me abroad, so I didn't want to commit to anyone.  Then I came to Korea and during the first few years I was so busy with adjusting, learning the language, doing orphanage ministry work, and such that I didn't want to think about dating.  It wasn't until last year that the Lord began to put marriage on my heart again and encourage me in prayer.  A number of people keep asking me about different people in my life and its true that I have a ton of wonderful Christian friend girls (as opposed to girlfriends), but in my prayer times I feel that the Lord has yet to reveal the person to me.  God's calling on my life is unique and I believe He has set her apart for me and for the work He has called me to do.  I look back in my life at a number of girls that were wonderful and I probably could have dated and married and been happy with, but I see now that it was not the Lord's perfect will for me.  I think if I hadn't agreed to that pledge in college, I would have pursued one of them and God's calling on my life wouldn't have been completely fulfilled.  I believe in waiting on the Lord.  With that said, the Lord has prompted me to pray and I sense He is still opening my heart after years of it being closed.  I feel the Lord wants me to ask for the gifts He has for me (not just a wife), and to pray specifically.  I'm trying.  I sense these gifts are coming soon.  I'll keep you posted... whoever you are that reads this thing...

  This is what happens when its late and you aren't sure what to write... I hope something in there made sense and it was somehow encouraging.  God bless!

  • 9:58 am
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