March 3, 2011
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The Power of Resiliency
A friend of mine shared with me a powerful article about a woman who interviewed a large number of 5 to 8 year old children who were identified by school authorities as functioning well in their school settings. Each interviewee had at least three major, ongoing life stressors such as: homelessness, single parent, foster-care, alcohol and substance abuse, abandonment, and death in the family. Despite their difficult lives and their difficult surroundings (most of these children were living in very rough areas), these kids were doing really well. The interviewer discovered four things that stood out about these children…
1. Heightened Sensory Awareness – These children could notice beauty or interesting things out of even the worst conditions. Broken glass bottles cast magnificent reflections. The sky offers amazing colors. The buildings and windows and objects around them have so many interesting shapes and sizes. These children would not just notice things most people wouldn’t notice, but there was also an air of positivity about them in what they would see. No cynicism.
2. High, Positive Expectations – For nearly all of these children there was someone in their life, whether a family member or teacher or mentor, who believes in them and has expectations for them. The higher the expectation and encouragement (not coaxing but speaking faith and identity), the greater the confidence of the child.
3. A Clear and Developing Understanding of One’s Strengths Relating to Accomplishment – These children would say such things as, “Well, I know I’m not that great at sports, but I’m a really good reader.” The kids knew their own strengths and were able to cast success in light of what they could accomplish. This would enable the kids to grow in their expectations and positivity.
4. A Heightened, Developing Sense of Humor – Not only did their humor help them keep positive and smiling, it also served as a great way to connect with other children and have fun experiences together laughing. The heaviness of difficult childhood experiences could be lessened by somehow finding humor amidst it all (think Bill Cosby and Chris Rock).
To put this in a Christian light…
1. Heavenly eyes (not seeing things in the physical but instead seeing God’s hand and authorship all around you)
2. Knowing God’s promises for you (identity in Christ)
3. Knowing your personal identity in Christ (how He has uniquely shaped you)
4. The joy of the Lord is our strength! (Nehemiah 8:10)
God bless!
